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Buy High, Cry Later™ [v.1]

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🟢 Buy Signal Logic:
RSI > 200? Buy.

MACD crossing in the opposite direction? Buy harder.

A green candle appeared? That’s bullish af.

Elon tweeted something? YOLO all-in.

Signal confirmed by 2 pigeons landing on your window.

🔴 Sell Signal Logic:
Price down 0.1%? Panic sell.

Your neighbor just bought in? Dump it.

Wife walks in? Liquidate everything and pretend you're doing taxes.

Trade hit breakeven? Close immediately, you're not greedy.

💬 Alerts Include:
“Moon incoming 🚀🚀 (probably...)”

“Dump detected – but it might reverse. Or not. Who knows.”

“Just close the chart and go outside, man.”

🛠️ Features:
Ultra-premium “Repaint Mode” – only shows correct signals after they worked.

Martingale-enhanced entries: “Double down or cry trying.”

AI-enhanced backtest: 100% win rate on cherry-picked data from 2003.

⚠️ Disclaimer:
This tool may cause excessive optimism, overtrading, or spontaneous weeping. Not responsible for margin calls or emotional damage.

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